May 16 2017

100wc WIDE ORANGE CROCODILE WITHIN COLLAPSED

Goal to add more description

The wide mouth of the cave opened up within the room along the walls were orange crocodiles the cave was dark and seemed empty each footstep echoed louder than shouts many collapsed skeletons littered the cave floor loads of treasure was hauled to either side of the room crocodiles of all shapes and sizes printed on them there was a low growl sounding from the end of the cave its probably just a rock falling…right?…. suddenly a huge crocodile came out of the shadows its teeth bared and its eyes looking hungry for blood.


Posted May 16, 2017 by aryaveer2014 in category 100wc

2 thoughts on “100wc WIDE ORANGE CROCODILE WITHIN COLLAPSED

  1. Finian

    hi, Aryaveer.
    I liked the suspense in that last bit and the mysterious vibe around the story. You could work on using paragraphs but apart from that I thought it was pretty nice:)

    Reply
  2. Libby Haigh

    Well done! You definitely achieved your goal of adding more description… however, I was exhausted reading it – where are the sentence breaks?

    Reply

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